aWESoMe

I just applied to do Free Skool in Tatamagouche, Nova Scotia this summer!!!
Here is the link:

http://freeschool.fairtrademedia.com/

!!!

My friend Kate Showed my this song yesterday.
They names are Amadou et Mariam. They are a blind couple from Mali and I really like this track.

Cannot Stop Listening To This!!!!

Hello private eyes, secret ears,
this song fits my mood, my desire,
http://noolmusic.com/videos_2/foreigner_i_wanna_know_what_love_is_music.php

It fits well within the longing feeling for comfort and romantic sudden passion.
I don't know .

I wanna know what love is.
I want you to show me.


I cannot express myself well tonight,
so I search for music, sleep, the cat and tomorrow.
I love my friends.
I love you

This is about love, sorry if it makes no sense. I guess it isn't suppose to.
The unimaginable will happen.
I find you beautiful, I'm sorry for myself for never really telling you .

Today there was blood from my crotch and tears from my eyes.
I clogged them both of tissue/cotton type resources.
My vagina says thanks, thanks for putting some money in to itself and preventing blood spillage. My eyes said I'm sorry, I'm resentful.
I didn't eat till supper. I only ate up coffee and the ground my feet were walking on all day.
I am going out for coffee with a friend. Not a super close friend, but a reliable smart, sweet friend. She will talk about women, being gay, films and bikes. I will like all of these topics and smile and agree to most of them.

I was talking to the coordinator of tree planting today. I will miss my dad, and carla and my friends and my mom only to hopefully find our how to love better.
Music and comfort from music. I am addicted.

Now I am going to smoke with Steve and Dan, and Steve is helping me by putting his own life in to perspective and understanding . I hope I feel better soon!

Dog Day

I had coffee, it was black, a medium roast, I wasn't satified with its weakness and decided it destroy it by putting warm milk and sugar in it. I was upset. Decisions. No precision.Decisions, not a lack of my ambitions, but definitely treated very poorly wrongly when one is under the weather and distracted be inner conflict/confusion.

Tonight Carla and I had plans to watch Y Tu Mamá También, but that won't be happening after a sudden rupture in both our moods. I blame it on earthquakes and volcanoes, and mother natures hand in her unprecitablness. I really want to watch that movie.


I am excited about self exploration and travel. I need to find the happiness within the self. I want to practice happiness. I've been watching Planet Earth by myself. I want to dive in movie watching rituals these next two months. Outdoor walks, and indoor visual observation of videos and tea drinking. I have a lot of reading to day. I took books out from the library today.
I took out :
A.L. Rees' "A History of Experimental Film and Video"
Jean Petrolle and Virginia Wright Wexman's "Women and Experimental Filmmaking"
+ Suarez' "Bike Boys, Drag Queens and Superstars"

I need to figure out what to do next in school,
Women's/Gender Studies,
a masters may be
A Film Studies Minor?
Or Sociology or Social work.
I am in need of answers from myself. I guess the more I read, and walk and talk to myself realistically, the more likely I am to coming close to Solutions and Plans.
On a totally other different note,

I get so overwhelmed when I think about the main people in my life, that they all make me cry. They all make me sad and they all make me feel loved. I push myself from them and they do the same. This is when we retreat to the places and faces of our basic comforts. Old friends, new friends, and our hobbies. We seek to reassure ourselves that we have solid ground some where, solid non-emotional relationships with really, the most consistent people in our lives. I'm afraid of loving someone because I'm afraid of having a broken heart and us not being friends in the end.
There are so many beautiful people and one beautiful one I love.
What I am really drawn to in someone is someone who laughs a lot, smiles and is easy going. Someone who is happy and gives off positive vibes.
I want to lye down on grass and look up at the clouds.


I keep thinking about summer. Summer! Summer!! And a better feeling!! Come here...

Tea 4 Life

I like this American Apparel mask


I might try to get one in time for the trip to Marble Mountain. I need a boost today.
A refreshing warm feeling. I'll probably dabble into a few books today. Greg gave me a graphic novel called Gon that deals with nature. I need a cup of tea to go with this!

I'm going cook Carla something for supper and crawl in to bed early tonight and watch a movie.
Greg Ryan is one of my best friends, he always sends me new music and is now helping me get through this snow storm day by coming over and watching Dream Cather by Stephen King. I'll make popcorn on the stove now and a pot of tea.
I wish I had a dog. My arms desperately need to cling around a furry happy mammal.

This is a cute shirt on http://teeshirtblog.blogspot.com I love way too many shirts I find here..

The Cinema, a place where we can be silent and in love.

I'm drinking a cup of black medium roast coffee, the brand is kicking horse, a good strong fair trade choice.
It makes me feel stronger right now. This thick black liquid that runs down my throat prepares me for my day. Coffee, a fierce drink, a habit, a companion and sidekick in this wintery town. All outside there is snow. It outnumbers trees and blue skies. It keeps lovers in bed and haters in hate. It is an element of our natural environment that we have to live with and within, therefore we must not only bear with it, but fight against it the same time as we must love it too.

I cannot stop listening to this song,




This evening, Alanna and I are screening Fat Girl, ( A ma Soeur!), by Catherine Breillat. I'm glad Carla introduced me to this movie. I keep thinking there is lots of excellent messages in this movie that I just wish I could explain better. May be I have to practice more public speaking or writing more of my thoughts down. I hope I see some friends there, who appreciate this movie.

My Valentine,

gave me this Heart record that I cannot stop playing in my bedroom ,


h a p p y g i r l

Pictures of the Greenhouse

Helle Nice: French Model, Dancer, Grand Prix race car driver

Get your lesbian horoscope ... ?
http://horoscopes.astrology.com/dailylesbianscorpio.html

Food Fwends

I start a new job tomorrow.
It is working in a green house at Wood Land Nurseries in Paradise. Will I like this job? It is only for a few months. Hopefully, the other workers are hilarious, genuine and positive. It is eight to five, monday through friday, cutting roses, watering tropical plants, and trimming plants. Mostly I will be selecting roses and putting them in frilly paper for Valentines Day.
Upon the acceptance of receiving it, the rose is probably smelled once, or twice and then becomes a decoration set aside on a table that is well cleaned and cleared.
It is a symbol of devotion, passion, and beauty. AND SEX.
I'm gonna package a gift of romance, rowomance.

Friday is the first screening of Sour Cherry's film series of queer and feminist media. Alanna and I are showing Su Friedrich's Sink or Swim. It starts 6:00 at the Sally Davis Seminar Room SN 4087. Get It!

Pink Waffers With Milk

Some of Martha Rosler's Photomontages!!! So good!

You need a behavioral therapist - Lana Lin's Photomontages!

Perfume on my wrist, and the full moon that hangs over...

I can't seem to figure out how to post a youtube video.
So I'll just post the links.

Playlist A: A Cold Bum

Heart - These dreams http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LLaeRUsWr0

Til Tuesday

  
Siouxsie & the banshees - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_Qe8d95vCc


but, sitting on your bums not fun